Networking to build your business or increase your referrals to a great new job

There are a lot of articles and books out there telling eager sales professionals and job seekers that there are “tricks” to increase networking success. However, the concept of networking is not new. Business executives and moms have been networking it for ions, that's right moms. They'll spill on the best places for a deal and best times to shop, that is networking, exchanging information it’s not gossip. Executives will call one another and say "Jim Smith's kid just graduated from college and needs a job." And get that newbie job seeker a job whether he deserves it or not. People have called it many names such as the "hen network" (sorry ladies) and "the good ol' boy network" (sorry gents). Call it what you will, its networking and it works.

What is new is about networking is that "average" people do it openly now and sometimes brazenly and offensively…. A very successful C level executive commented that the irritating part of people who approach him today is that in most cases its so obvious. “They don't want to network with me, they want something from me." Exactly. That’s the problem. And I think we all experience it in some way and it doesn't make you feel great about that person.

Some books and articles seem to say you can build your network in an instantaneous way and make sales or get job offers right and left. And whereas a famous or charismatic person can do that just by walking in the door, the average human has to work at it a little bit more than simply tossing cards and collecting overflowing offers.

If there is a trick to networking, it’s learning and applying how not to offend the person you just met and build a relationship before you put your hand out. In fact, to be successful, the philosophy is never put your hand out except if its got of something of value to the person you’re offering it to.

The software company exec who wants to connect with the president of a major computer company, we’ll call him Mr. VIP. He’d call him up and say “Mr. VIP its time to get to know one another I’ll send a car for you we can spend the weekend at my desert condo.” He offered something wonderful upfront and didn’t ask for anything. The weekend is full of promise and fun. That executive hopes to discover over the weekend over cocktails he doesn’t even have to ask because things go well and Mr. VIP offers to help. The beginning of a win-win relationship has taken root.

This may be out of your realm of operation but it is not unlike anything you can’t already do. Going forward the next time you want to “network” with someone. Look at your targeted person and say how can I attract their attention? How can I keep it? How can I bring them value to where they would want to befriend me not in a “Facebook friend” way, rather in a way where they might want to do business with you and/or help you connect with someone. Think about what you have to offer that person. You may not be able to offer a resort condo for a nice week you may have an article you read that would be of interest or you might have expertise that would be of value. Does this person have a hobby or is their kid in sports? Who or what do you know if you know that can offer some tips or connections to that hobby or collectible that bring value. Anyone with money can throw money around however, taking time to figure out something that really brings value earns you“thoughtful points” to the picture.

Being thoughtful, showing concern about someone does count, even if the initial reason you contact someone is because you hope to do business with them. Think about your love life or friendships as an example you pick that special someone out of the crowd because you wanted their attention or they wanted yours. You exchanged something of value to each of you which then cemented the relationship. Meeting someone new at an event or talking with someone on the phone and then sending thank you notes or calling to thank someone for their time is simply polite. Offering to give someone something before they offer to help you is a great way to build a relationship and trust.

You’re probably wondering what to do if you keep giving and giving and they don’t get the hint drop a hint or move on but give it some time much more than 24 hours, depending on how high up the individual is it may be months – what if you don’t have months? Then go back to you super hot network of best and close friends and ask them for help ratchet it up offer something "Dinner for two at XYZ restaurant for any of my buddies that get me an interview at ABC Company." is a great way to show your friends you’re serious and you need their help. That doesn't mean you need to bribe or pay people but it does show you're serious if you're not getting any help in your own "hot" network its a way to rev up things.

There’s nothing wrong with letting everyone in your circle of connections know you are in a job search or looking for new business connections. You should be doing that but at the same time ask them what they are up to. Ask them how you can help and if you offer to help or they ask you to help go out of your way to do it or at least get back to them with some connection that can help them out. The funny thing is people like people who take an interest in them. It’s a contagious thing you extend your hand to help someone and they usually want to return the favor.

Think about it, life is a transaction. It’s nearly always an exchange when you get down to it. Personal relationships like dating, marriage and friendships are transactional in nature. You do something nice they do something nice or you drop them. They do something not so nice you either reciprocate or drop them. You develop feelings good and bad based on the transactions you have with the people in your inner circle. Apply those same principles to how you do business and you’ll always be successful.